Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The most important

My husband and I have very little quality time together. He works extremely hard and is incredibly talented. He leaves the house early Monday through Friday, and often comes home after Amelia and I have already eaten our dinner. By the time he eats and we get the dishes clean in the dishwasher, he's lucky to have 90 minutes to devote to silly playtime (the kind dads do best!) before Amelia's bedtime. If it's a bath night, even less. His quality time with her is extended in their nighttime reading/singing/laughing ritual, while I get myself in my own comfy PJs. Often, I'm so worn out I struggle to keep myself awake past 9:00.
In an attempt to spend more awake time together, we instituted movie night. We get a $1/night Redbox rental and watch it together in our room. No computers, no iPhones, no child needs. One night per week, every week. It is a good thing. I hope we keep it up.

Recently we watched Crazy Heart.
I would say it is worth seeing, but definitely not an all-time favorite. Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal portray their characters vividly, and certainly deserved the accolades. One line in particular really stood out to me.

Bad Blake asks Jean, "What's the most important thing about you?"

Jean replies, "I have a son."

So many days I complain about how hard it is to be me. How much I juggle on a daily basis. Work, feisty preschooler, chores, grocery shopping, cooking - holding up our family of three with barely a moment for myself. I get the blues when I think about who I used to be. And when I can't figure out who I am now.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a little "me" time. Or wishing I could be the spunky, happy half of my marriage that I used to be. And striving for it. Stretching the days to make time for non-Amelia enjoyment. But I have to agree with the character in the movie.

The most important thing about me?
I have a daughter. I have my Amelia.

The most important thing about my husband?
He is a father. A darn good one.

After the end of our lives, when mourners are gathered to remember us, no one is going to say, "gee, they were good at their jobs." Or, "their house was always dusted & vacuumed". They are going to talk about how we lived as a family. And about Amelia.

About the things that matter. The most important things.
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