Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sometimes I forget

I took a little trip down memory lane this evening, visiting some of my earlier blog posts. When I saw the title of this one, I grinned smugly within myself, figuring it was just a simple post from pre-terrible twos.

But then I read it. And I realized how much I needed to think about those words again.

It has been a rough few months, and I've martyred myself a few too many times. But I'm happy. And even though I may forget sometimes, I wouldn't change my little family for the world.

Monday, March 15, 2010
Mommy to a toddler - not as bad I as thought

I'm relaxed. I got my "me" time. And I missed Amelia like crazy.

My trip was a wonderful experience, not just for myself, but for making me a better mommy. I had lost my perspective on the power of the good things. I was so burned out that I focused almost entirely on the challenges, frustrations, and exhaustion.

But what about that sweet little voice every morning that calls out "mommy? mommy!"

And that hearty laugh whenever I let down my guard and do something silly?

All the learning and growing that has become so visible from day to day?

Even something as small as the sweet little hair bows she now insists on wearing?

Awesome. All of it.

And there's SO much more.

I'm sure I'll be tired again by the end of the day. I'm sure I'll experience the work vs. playtime struggles again soon. We'll probably have some snack disagreements this afternoon. My body still disappoints me... I doubt I'll ever look like (or feel like!) I did 2 years ago.

But you know what? All of that is OK. Really, it is.

If I have to choose between the smooshy belly or Amelia? Or the career vs. Amelia? Or my precious "me" time vs. Amelia? My girl will win. Every time.

Maybe the elusive balance this three-in-one mom has been searching for was not within this life at all. It exists in those brief moments where I can step away; even if that happens once every two years. Perfect will never be perfect without happy.
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