Shhh... Mommy is hiding

I am hiding in my bedroom right now. I dare not make a peep, for you are finally settling down in your own room nearby. You tested me well today, little one.

I am hiding now. Shhhh, don't tell. Close your eyes and drift to sleep. 

I am hiding from the sticky dishes that await in the sink downstairs

...from the scattered crumbs under the table

...from an unfinished project sitting in limbo on my hibernating PC

...from my cell phone that sits downstairs

I am also hiding, in a way, from your Daddy and sister outside. I could go out and play, but I just want to hide. Savoring silence. I am hanging on to the only free moment I have managed to grasp today.

It is quiet in here now that you have assumed your sleeping position: face to the side, little rear end up in the air, one arm clutching a favorite blanket, your body smooshed into the corner of the crib. Yesterday was a big day of playtime and today was a first attempt at consolidating to one nap. You worked me hard today, baby boy, but Mommy understands. You are tired. I am too.

Any moment now, the door will open downstairs and sister and Daddy will enter. I will move from my quiet spot in my room to help them with whatever they may need. I will swiftly switch on the Mommy mode. I will sweep up the grass they trail in from the yard and clank tonight's dishes into the dishwasher. I will select Amelia's green clothes for St. Patrick's day and urge her along as she completes her usual bedtime routine with inevitable stalling. We will prepare for another busy day to arrive when the sun rises again.

I have a few fleeting moments left to hide from whatever, whomever it is that calls for me. So I pause. And I breathe. I watch your little bottom on the video monitor. I feel stillness and listen to silence.

It is good that a mother can recharge quickly, because it's time to assume the role again. The other pieces of my heart have come back indoors. I have mere seconds until I hear, "Mom! Where are you?"

three...
two....
one....

So of course, I reply. "Yes, I'm coming!"

 

When Mama gets time for herself - Boots Clay Mask #PowerOfPlants

It is a rarity these days. But once in a while, my to-do list can be put on hold and the baby chooses to take a really good nap. My daughter is at school, husband is at work, house is silent. When I do not have something nagging at me to be done in the house, I take a moment for me.

Listen to the silence. Breathe. Close my eyes.

The other day, I received yet another awesome Influenster Vox Box.  Influenster is a free community of influential people who test products and tell others about their experiences. I am on my third Vox Box in only a couple months! I've tested shoe insoles, candy, lip gloss, eye shadow, tea, face cream, and more.

This box included Boots Botanics Shine Away Ionic "The Power of Plants" clay mask by Boots Beauty.

When the week begins right

Easter was a lovely day. Amelia woke early and I let her climb into our bed. She gently kissed Daddy on his cheek and snuggled in our sheets. I took a leisurely shower while they cuddled softly. Amelia did not pressure us to hurry, or play, or to go downstairs to investigate the Easter surprises.

So quiet. So sweet.

Eventually, we went downstairs. We watched her joy as she searched for eggs and pulled goodies out of her purple straw basket. Throughout the day, we spoke with friends and family. We enjoyed a delicious meal with amazing neighbors. We worked hard to pack and clean in preparation of the move, but it felt okay. There must be something about starting the day out in peace - it sets you up for a good day.

Hopefully for a good week too.

Their hearts have mine

Sometimes I like to see what I was writing one year ago. This one is worthy of a revival from the archives. I still listen to them at night. They continue to have many perfect moments. My girl LOVES her Daddy!
- - -

I am eavesdropping, creeping softly to peek through the cracked door. The room is dim, lit only by the glow of a princess nightlight. My little girl, growing bigger very day, is quiet. Her head rests on Daddy's chest and his fingers gently comb her soft waves of hair.

The right kind of silence

Now, this kind of silence is another story. Last week, the daytime silence had me uneasy. This morning, I find myself noticing the quiet again.

The wake up clock sits dim in her room, awaiting its moment to activate the soothing green glow. Her body is still, her chest gently rises and falls without a sound. Sheets, rumpled and tangled, rest at her feet while stuffed animals lie askew next to her, on her, and on the floor.

I am showered, my hair has been dried. I have nine minutes. Nine minutes to catch up with the news of my world through a quick scroll of Facebook. Maybe put a word or two on the blog. This is the best kind of silence. Cool air outside means a cozy blanket on my toes. A peaceful sleepy head in the other room means a moment to breathe for me.

Wake up time will come soon enough, bringing with it the chaos of yet another school day. For one more second, I turn my head and listen. To nothing.

What do to with quiet?

Every now and then, I find myself on a work-from home day with Amelia at school and a very light work load. I run an errand or two, investigate the latest coupons, and get the laundry started. I refresh Facebook and my work email every few minutes, looking for a new conversation or task. I watch the clock.

These days are really slow.

Amelia is in extended day school because I work several hours per day - sometimes in the office, sometimes at home. I do not pick her up until 4:00. On days like this, my body feels lazy. My mind is sleepy. By brain has no idea what to do with all of the quiet.

It is funny how I often find myself begging for some alone time with no responsibilities and no pressures. But when I get it? I have no idea what to do with myself!

Snacking and TV are not going to cut it. Three loads of laundry are already clean, dry, and tucked away in various closets or drawers. The carpet is sporting brand new vacuum lines. The sun is shining... perhaps I should go for a walk? If I burn more calories, maybe I can enjoy a cold ice cream treat with my girl this afternoon.

It is not often that life and work both reach a quiet place. I should enjoy it, I suppose. But I miss my chatterbox, a perpetually singing and dancing little wonder. My ears have grown used to having her around. 

What am I supposed to do with all of this silence? 
  

A perfect pair

Two things that go together perfectly:

A very rainy day out there...

..and a cozy bed in here.

Child is at preschool. I finished my office work for the moment. 90 minutes to kill before I have to leave the house. I can hear the rain pounding on the roof and windows. The sky is gray, so the house is dim.

So quiet.

I'm going to soak up these moments.

Just the simple things

I don’t need grand gestures,
Nor a sparkling ring.
I don’t need huge effort,
No, just the simple things.

I adore the simplest joys in life. It seems that when we take a moment to step away from the chaos that is today’s modern, busy world, those little things can tug at our heartstrings like nothing else.

Wet eyelashes on my sweet girl as she plays in the tub.

A fleeting shared grin from a secret held between the two of us.

A ladybug rescued from the house and set free to fly in the wind.

A refrigerator plastered with handmade art.

Fuzzy socks, a blanket, and a storybook.

A touch, a smile, or a wink from one of the few people who can see inside my soul.

I don’t need a big gift,
Just you, right there.
Open eyes, open hearts,
To the simple moments we share.

Mama's quiet place

Too early for sleep, yet late enough to burrow. Under cool sheets I go, relishing the weight of the downy duvet. This time of year, only darkness hangs outside the arched window. The air is cool.

My quiet place? My bedroom.

Once the chatterbox singing princess is snug and silent in her own cozy spot, I breathe. I allow the weights of another busy day to lift off my shoulders. I take time to loosen my muscles and listen - to absolutely nothing.

Then, during my only extended down time of the day, I reach for my iPhone or my e-reader.

The time is mine.
I can do what I like.
Not making a sound.