Nothing to do, no one to call her own.
All she can do is sit and stare,
Huddled in her world of bleak despair.
The world is dark, the rain pours down,
Sadness fills the air.
For when she needs someone the most,
You are never there.
I wrote this poem when I was 11 years old. I was a sensitive child, to say the least. Often struggling with feelings of loneliness and and a major lack of self-worth. I had (and still have) a supportive, loving family. My parents were (and still are) attentive and caring. But something in my pre-teen heart just felt sad.
My very best friend and I were locked hand-in-hand since age two. We were friends as well as neighbors. I could even see her house from my parents' bedroom window. The summer before 4th grade, she and her family moved to Florida. My family was on vacation the day they left. I remember feeling like I did not get to say goodbye. Through 5th grade, I was in a small Catholic school. We never had a class with more than 10-15 students. So when Christine left, I didn't have any new friends to take her space. I got in trouble quite a bit in 4th grade, lashing out because I felt angry and alone. It helped to meet so many new friends in middle school, but those hormonal years were difficult for many more reasons.
In 1986, Universal launched the movie An American Tail, a story about a young immigrant mouse who became separated from his family upon arrival to America. Throughout the movie, he faces unknown dangers and battles his fears and loneliness.
The feature song from that film is a classic. A beautiful tune performed by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram, Somewhere Out There was my theme song for several years. It gave me hope and made me feel less alone.
I still adore this song. Now, it makes me smile.
