Thursday, February 19, 2015

The have-it-all-mom: Revisiting my very first blog post (5 years and 1 month later)

I managed to miss my 5-year blogging anniversary last month, so today I pulled up the archives. I was five years younger when I wrote this, a mom of one, trying to figure out where I fit in the world of work and parenting. The blog was originally titled "Three Moms In One: A Balancing Act", because I wanted to be the happy mom, the "perfect" mom, and the working mom - all tied up in one neat little got-it-all-together package. I also knew it was going to be a perpetual balancing act to even attempt such a feat.

Many things have changed in five years. Other things have not. I still hold a soft spot, however, for this first rambling, personal, very real post. 

Know what's funny? I wore this SAME outfit at home today.

- - -
What do you mean, three moms? 
 originally posted January 21, 2010
Doing the mommy thing is not easy. No one said it would be. But I don't think I realized just how much I would bounce around the emotional spectrum on a daily basis. As a chronic over-achiever, I thought I could be the Perfect Mom, the Happy Mom, & the Working Mom without skipping a beat. 21-1/2 months after my gorgeous Amelia's birth, the realization that these three identities don't always mesh is hitting me in the face... and it hurts.

The Perfect Mom reads all the books, follows the rules, and ends up with a brilliant, sweet, and happy child. It's all a breeze, right? Ha. More like impossible. The pressure placed on a mom, both by herself and by society is astronomical. And unrealistic. And just plain stupid. Especially when said child nears the dreaded age of two.

The Happy Mom can play on the floor every minute of the day, enjoys reading the same baby book over & over & over a gazillion times, and doesn't know the meaning of bored & lonely. A mom's love for her child makes all of the daily, repetitive tasks enjoyable, right? Ha. Surely no one out there can be the happy playmate for a toddler every minute of every day. The level of energy for such activities diminishes by age. Thirty-two is no match to two. Not even close.

The Working Mom has it all. A career, contacts outside of the home, a touching relationship with her child. Especially the mom who gets to work part-time from home. She has the best of all worlds, right? You guessed it - Ha. Working Mom has as much of a balancing act as the circus performer on a tightrope juggling cantaloupes. And probably gets paid less.

So where does this bring me? I work and I'm a mom. And I am definitely not perfect. Nor am I always happy. I want to be everything to everyone, and I struggle every day to make myself realize and/or remember that I cannot. I must accept that IT IS OK. I'm on the journey of a lifetime and I'm looking forward to where it leads.

So why write it in a blog?
Well, why not?!?

We'll see where this blog goes in the future. Maybe today is just one of those funky days that will pass and I won't come back for months. Or maybe my blog will get discovered by thousands of followers who find it comforting, witty, and down-to-earth. Maybe I'll support my family with huge advertising sponsors and become famous! There I go, trying to be perfect again....

How about we just wait and see?

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