Thursday, January 10, 2013

Not like the others

Like most of you, I grew up with Sesame Street. I still remember many of the songs and videos they played over and over again.

Today, this one is running through my mind:

"One of these things is not like the others,  
One of these things just doesn't belong,  
Can you tell which thing is not like the others  
By the time I finish my song?"

Do you ever feel like you just don't know your place in the grand scheme of things? I do. I struggle with this almost daily. Yes, I am raising another human being, a job that can compare to none. But I also try to hold my own little place in the business world, a job for which I can barely find enough extra energy. Or time.

In college, I had a plan. A plan for my own communications agency. It had a name, a logo, even letterhead that I designed myself. Grand ideas. And frankly, ideas that will never fit into my world. Ideas that were born of the naive optimism of a college student. 

I love my time with Amelia. She loves her time with me. We are a team to the end of time, and I would give that up for nothing. But when I leave her at school and weave through traffic to the office, I am lost. Who am I? People I used to work with, or who used to work for me, are now miles above me in the hierarchy of the world. Some have children, some do not. They seem to know where they fit.

Why does this bother me? I made my choice. I selected a part-time career in order to be there for my adorable baby girl. I was not demoted, I was not fired - I am the one who chose this.

I guess there is no point to this post. I just do not know where I fit. I am not a stay-at-home mom, I am not a full-time working mom. I am a.... ?

One of these things is not like the other....
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