Friday, April 6, 2012

Before I had a preschooler

Before child...

Before I had a preschooler, I never realized:

All the sugar packets at restaurants have been played with (and probably licked) by a small child.

Preschoolers will completely ignore their friends during a playdate, then later tell you "I had such a great day with (friend)!".

Choo-choo trains are exciting and fascinating by day, completely terrifying in dreams.

Food can be made out of anything: woodchip pizzas, play-doh cupcakes, sand pies, mud puddle soup... (warning: do not let them get their hands on dog poo).

Stuffed animals have feelings. They cry, hit each other, miss their mommies, and often need timeout.

Stuffed animals also need frequent diaper changes (and many, many baby wipes or tissues).

It is nearly impossible to outsmart a preschooler. Don't try to be sneaky, they are all on to us.

Fairies get sucked down the bathtub drain and end up swimming in the ocean. (That's why you see so many at the beach.)

Automatically flushing toilets are terrifying.

Ceiling fans are terrifying.

Preschoolers could care less who is on the other end of the phone. But if Mommy is talking on it, they transform into noisy, clingy octopus-like creatures.

Mommy's day off only works if Mommy is in another state. Or another country.

Very few things will gross you out after being Mom to a preschooler. (I caught vomit in a bed sheet the other day... and it didn't even seem unusual)

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This is mostly a repeat of a post from the archives... I could add to this list daily!
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