Monday, March 3, 2014

Can I be happy as a SAHM?

I have been home on maternity leave with my kindergartner and newborn for one month. I usually work part-time, about 14 hours each week with 8 of those hours in the office. I do not have one of those amazing jobs with meaning; I don't save lives, birth babies, or invent amazing technological advancements. But my job is my escape from the monotony of home; it is my regular exercise for my brain. I get to brainstorm ideas and make smart decisions.

I hate moms who judge other moms - and I applaud all types. Stay-a-home (SAHM), work-from-home, full-time, part-time... whatever works for each individual mom is Awesome. Yep, with a capital A.

Sometimes, however, I wonder what is wrong with me. Why can't I find that joy and contentment in staying home? How do the SAHMs stay sane?

For one month, I have been packing lunches, changing diapers, feeding the baby, feeding the family, and trudging to the grocery store. Not much else, unless you count Facebook. Or 3-hour long marathons on HGTV. Or consuming mass quantities of chocolate? The house is silent for most of the day, unless the baby is whining. Or screaming. I feel like Words With Friends is my only brain exercise.

Holy moly, I am bored!

Are the SAHMs reaching for their pitchforks? Please don't. Everyone's day is different. Toddlers are much more active than babies. Some of you have several children at home. I get it. If you are happy at home - and I am sure you are busy - then I am thrilled for you.

But oh my gosh, I am B-O-R-E-D.

Am I missing the maternal magic that should be inside my heart? I do not find diapers interesting. Or feeding. Television rots my brain. I sweep the floor, but it's a mess again before I can spin around. Dishes keep on piling up - once the dishwasher is emptied, it is time to be full again. My life for the past month has been a constant circle. Do something, do it again, then again, and again, and again...

I just don't know if I can do it anymore.

But I may not have a choice. My job as I knew it may not be waiting for me as I had hoped. So I am stuck between hope for escaping the monotony and a difficult attempt to answer the question, can I be happy as a SAHM? Is it a blessing in disguise, as others have suggested? Or will it kill me?

Seriously... am I broken?

4 comments :

  1. You are not broken. The only way I maintain my sanity is by being involved in other Moms groups that relate to being a part time or full time SAHM. Mom's group international has chapters in your area. They have monthly meetings where children are welcome and play dates throughout the month, even with infants. They have Mom's nights out too. You aren't obligating yourself to attend any certain number of events and can participate as you like. Another area I have connected with is Mom's Groups through churches. You don't have to be a member to go, child care is provided and they are usually free. There is a MOPS (Mothers of Preschool something or other) and I was also in a Parents Encouraging Parents (Pep Moms) group that held monthly meetings with childcare, with topics related to motherhood and playdates, including infants. You can also join play date groups that meet around your schedule and some even meet in the evenings. I would definitely encourage you to look for some of those types of groups so you can get connected with other Moms that relate to you and support you. Plus, it keeps you from being bored out of your mind and going crazy. Many women choose not to be SAHMs because they prefer working over the challenges of being their own child care provider. You are not crazy! :) hugs!

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  2. I don't think that you are broken at all. I think that you are used to having something to do. Some moms just like being outside the home. They love their children but they love to work as well. I liked being at home up until the point that both my kids got into school. I love being able to be there for them but I also wanted to be doing something else. In fact my quest for doing something else is what got me into blogging. There is nothing wrong with wanting something more.

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  3. While I am not a mom, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that there are all types of moms. Personally, I think I would feel the same way. This is your time for defining what motherhood means to you. If your job as you knew it is no longer available, maybe you could start your own business?

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  4. You just need to find what works for you now. Child care costs are what keep me home. Unless I got back to a high pressure news job, I'd basically be paying someone my salary to care for our son.
    As A.J. gets older and I work on developing my business I'd like to get more involved in meaningful meetup groups. Not just ones that rarely get together and are just a buncha people pitching to each other.

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