Thursday, April 4, 2013

I tried something new

Four years and 361 days ago, I tried something new. There was no going back, no time to question, no time to rethink this massively life changing event.

Four years and 361 days ago, at 11:57 p.m., I took a step into an new world. I became a mom.

I will look into your beautiful face

At that precise moment, I was too exhausted to think much about it at all. A NICU team had her in their hands to check her breathing. A couple minutes later, someone told me that she weighed nine pounds. At some point, I held her. Someone snapped our first family photo. And I probably passed out, sound asleep, a minute or two after that. It had been a very long and miserable 16 hours. I just could not be "mom" right away.

In the days that passed, I failed at many things. However (and thankfully), I did manage to keep my new small person alive and fed. And usually dressed. Added bonus: I somehow kept myself alive and fed as well. And dressed, albeit slovenly. Score.

I will be there to catch you

When people tell you, "enjoy your time - it goes by so fast!", they are absolutely right. It seems like only a few months ago when I tried on my motherhood pants. But it has been almost five years. We are now in a world of birthday parties, learning to read, and kindergarten registration. Almost five years. 1,822 days.

I will hold you up

Being Mom means so many things to me; it means it is OK to screw up (Alive? Fed? Clothed? Yep, doing just fine.). It means that feelings of guilt are multiplied, but moments of laughter are exponentially greater. It means that I have a hand to hold for a few more years, before she is too cool for me. It means I have the most important job in the history of the world, even when I am at my "other" job. I always know which one comes first.

Happy 5th birthday, my dear. I am so glad that I tried something new - with you.

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Linked up to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop: Something new you tried.
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