Thursday, April 23, 2015

Kale, and other trends I just don't understand


Disclaimer: I am not a trend-setter, trend-follower, or trend-y.

My top spring must-haves?
  • Propane in the grill - because, thank goodness, it is finally the time of year to make the husband cook. Not that I can't grill (girl power!), I just let him do it. Letting someone cook for me? Yeah, I am never going to complain about that. 
  • Capri pants - no certain brand, just comfortable capris to keep me cooler than in jeans without subjecting innocent bystanders too much of my white, white legs before summertime.
  • Prescription sunglasses - I'm a glasses wearer (ditched the contacts a few years ago to support my little girl in glasses) and I cannot survive the sunny days without my Rx shades. Spring means a lot of time outdoors!

I understand that many 30-something ladies may have a much more elaborate brand-name-filled list, possibly with a toolbox full of favorite beauty tools and some fabulous looking attire that costs more than most of my entire wardrobe. This working mama of two follows few trends on purpose. As an active social media user and consultant, however, I am online a lot. I see all the hashtags and pins and Instagrams of the latest and greatest whatevers out there.

Some of them, I understand. Like coffee, for instance. Moms like to talk about coffee on social media because (1) it is the fuel of life: we need it to survive our children and/or coworkers and whomever, whatever else is vying for attention, and (2) we want you to know just how tired we are. We drink the coffee to survive, and we talk about it to bond. Coffee is trendy. Wine too. Those, I understand. Pass the mugs and glasses, please. I'm all in.

But what about Kale?


Seriously, the barrage of "OMG, can't wait to have my kale salad" and "kale chips are the best snack ever!" posts on social media had me fooled. I began to think that, perhaps, someone finally found a green vegetable that tastes like a potato chip! I was ready to throw myself on that bandwagon.

But, ladies? Kale does not taste like potato chips. It's not awful, but it is not a delicious snack worthy of satisfying my junk food cravings. I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but kale is just a leaf. There is no way it deserves an "OMG" social media post in my world. It should just hang out in the salad bowl quietly, with the lettuce and other foliage.

Marathon running? I will cheer you on and applaud your awesomeness if you cross the finish line, but I do not get it. Nor do I have time for it. And anyway, if I tried to run that kind of distance, I would most certainly need a few detours into the coffee shop. Or Baskin-Robbins.

Kylie Jenner lips? I.... I can't even... this is beyond stupid. Young girls are causing swelling and bruising to their face to try to look like a random celebrity who does little more than take up space in this world? #KylieJennerChallenge? Um, I really, really do not get it.

What's on your spring must-haves list?

Please don't say gigantic damaged lips. Or kale.

- - -
Linked up to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, prompt I chose this week: "Write a list of your top Spring must-haves."

13 comments :

  1. OMG you crack me up!! I've never tried kale here nor there and I will not try it in a house or with a mouse or in a train or in a plane. I do not like kale Sam I am! LOL!!!
    I fell down the stairs last week and I spent way too much time in the hospital (I have metal holding my back together so I had to make sure it was all in place). On the tv they had a marathon of the Kardashians. Yes - 2 full days of Kim and the gang. I wanted to claw my eyes out. There isn't enough morphine in the world to erase their stupidity out of my mind.

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    1. Oh my, sorry you are injured! That is way too much Kardashian, I think. Eeek.

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  2. I have to admit that I really tried to like Kale chips, but no....I. Just. Cant. Your spring must haves are pretty much the same as mine really, except the capri pants last all summer, no short shorts for me.

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    1. I may attempt shorts now and then since we have months of 90+ degrees, but I also prefer my capris. They hide more jiggle, ya know? :)

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  3. Yeah, Kale is fairly bitter and thick. Not exactly my idea of a fun snack, even fried, or as a salad (forget it) or even something I'd cook with a meal. It's closer to a collard green. Blah.
    I love knit capri's and wear them all Summer!

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  4. I don't understand the kale thing either. I also don't understand the juice/ smoothie fad. Surely I'm not the only one old enough to remember this being the "it" thing before!

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    1. No juice cleanse, smoothies, or kale for me! Nope, not gonna.

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  5. I don't understand the kale thing either. I also don't understand the juice/ smoothie fad. Surely I'm not the only one old enough to remember this being the "it" thing before!

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  6. Oh man I cannot wait to break in the grill for the season! I'm ready for that wonderful barbecue smell!

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  7. Too funny! Not into kale here either or really most things considered "trendy." Unless I've stumbled into them by accident. ;) My spring must-haves? New flowers for my garden and plants for my garden. Simple fun.

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  8. Hilarious. No, neither kale nor ridiculously swollen lips are on my spring must-haves list. But, I do agree that I need my sunglasses... but, lately, I'm trading in the sunglasses for a rain poncho more often.

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  9. LOVED your musings! Thanks for sharing. and the Kylie Jenner thing: absolutely absurd!

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