Thursday, April 23, 2015

Kale, and other trends I just don't understand

Disclaimer: I am not a trend-setter, trend-follower, or trend-y.

My top spring must-haves?
  • Propane in the grill - because, thank goodness, it is finally the time of year to make the husband cook. Not that I can't grill (girl power!), I just let him do it. Letting someone cook for me? Yeah, I am never going to complain about that. 
  • Capri pants - no certain brand, just comfortable capris to keep me cooler than in jeans without subjecting innocent bystanders too much of my white, white legs before summertime.
  • Prescription sunglasses - I'm a glasses wearer (ditched the contacts a few years ago to support my little girl in glasses) and I cannot survive the sunny days without my Rx shades. Spring means a lot of time outdoors!

I understand that many 30-something ladies may have a much more elaborate brand-name-filled list, possibly with a toolbox full of favorite beauty tools and some fabulous looking attire that costs more than most of my entire wardrobe. This working mama of two follows few trends on purpose. As an active social media user and consultant, however, I am online a lot. I see all the hashtags and pins and Instagrams of the latest and greatest whatevers out there.

Some of them, I understand. Like coffee, for instance. Moms like to talk about coffee on social media because (1) it is the fuel of life: we need it to survive our children and/or coworkers and whomever, whatever else is vying for attention, and (2) we want you to know just how tired we are. We drink the coffee to survive, and we talk about it to bond. Coffee is trendy. Wine too. Those, I understand. Pass the mugs and glasses, please. I'm all in.

But what about Kale?

Seriously, the barrage of "OMG, can't wait to have my kale salad" and "kale chips are the best snack ever!" posts on social media had me fooled. I began to think that, perhaps, someone finally found a green vegetable that tastes like a potato chip! I was ready to throw myself on that bandwagon.

But, ladies? Kale does not taste like potato chips. It's not awful, but it is not a delicious snack worthy of satisfying my junk food cravings. I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but kale is just a leaf. There is no way it deserves an "OMG" social media post in my world. It should just hang out in the salad bowl quietly, with the lettuce and other foliage.

Marathon running? I will cheer you on and applaud your awesomeness if you cross the finish line, but I do not get it. Nor do I have time for it. And anyway, if I tried to run that kind of distance, I would most certainly need a few detours into the coffee shop. Or Baskin-Robbins.

Kylie Jenner lips? I.... I can't even... this is beyond stupid. Young girls are causing swelling and bruising to their face to try to look like a random celebrity who does little more than take up space in this world? #KylieJennerChallenge? Um, I really, really do not get it.

What's on your spring must-haves list?

Please don't say gigantic damaged lips. Or kale.

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Linked up to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, prompt I chose this week: "Write a list of your top Spring must-haves."

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