Bull's-eye

Throughout my life, I’ve had many friends. I fit into several different groups. The “good girls”, whom I joined for church functions and bible study groups. The “nerds”, who may not always have been the trendiest kids in school, but whom are now living successful lives thanks to their brains and work ethic. I went on a date (or two) with an adorable football player. For a time, I was even with the “hippie kids”, with whom I sported countless Beatles shirts and long bead necklaces. As I struggled to discover my own identity, I managed to find a way to identify with almost everybody.

While this sounds like a happy little plan for acquiring many friends, I often felt left out. In the pre-teen and teen years, the clique is key. I never took the steps to fully ingrain myself into one singular group. I was in the circle here and there, but never quite on the bull’s-eye. More like the outer wedge of the number four on the dartboard. I was there, but not crucial to the game. While the core of each group could call themselves best friends, I just existed.

Did my friends feel this way about me? I have no idea. I remember countless days where I wished I could be closer to the center. Somewhere… anywhere. But I also liked the people in clique #2 and that group over there. I felt I would have to choose one over the other, and that was impossible.

In the age of Facebook, most of these friends have returned. I enjoy chatting with all of them. I occasionally meet up with one or two if we’re in the same town at the same time. It is a lot of fun, and I am blessed to have some fantastic acquaintances and old friends in my life.

Do I need to be in the center these days?

I already am.

I am in the center of my little household of three. I am the wife and the mother. I am the CEO of this house. I am my husband’s best friend. And, while she’s young at least, I am the sun in Amelia’s universe.

It’s a good place to be.

Writer's Workshop:
Describe a time when you felt left out