How do you know when something is right? How do you listen to voices not your own? How do you heed God's plan?
I feel a pull. I am trying to listen. But I just don't know what to do.
Last week, I spotted a man on a bustling corner. At the intersection of two U.S. highways in suburban Atlanta, this man stood with a cardboard sign in his hands. The sign said "Homeless Family. Pls help."
I did what I usually do. I stopped my car farther back so I wasn't right next to him. I tried not to look in his direction. I pretended he wasn't there. But as I stole a quick glance, I noticed a woman and three children sitting in the grass. Sitting in the grass, watching as Daddy held a sign. Watching as cars drove by.
Then I could not look away.
The kids looked bored. The mother looked tired. They didn't seem cold, because we had a nice sunny afternoon. But what about the cold nights? What about school? What about toys, blankets, and food?
I glanced down and spotted my paycheck. I was minutes away from the bank with my deposit slip. I thought about my house filling with toys from Christmas. My not-so-gas-efficient SUV. The wasted food I throw away each week because I just didn't get around to reheating it again.
The light turned green, and I moved on.
I moved on because I didn't know what to do. How do you know if someone truly needs help? If this family is hungry, I want to bring them food. If they are cold at night, I will bring them some blankets. If they truly need help, I can give of myself and my own belongings. But how do you know what is real? The last thing I want to do is fall for a scheme that involves innocent children and a heartbreaking lie. Were these kids nothing but props? Did they later go home to an apartment, a television, and a fridge full of Daddy's beer? Putting children in such a lie - and such an unsafe location - would be despicable.
But then again... what if they really do need the help?
I don't know why this is haunting me so much. I spend time in the city quite often. I'm used to beggars and scraggly folk sleeping under bridges. I distrust them, I ignore them, and I move on. But they never have full families along side them. They never have children looking at each passing car with hollow eyes.
I know there is plenty of help for the homeless here. I know these parents have access to food and shelter. But I also know the economy has hit many people very hard. I've never seen this family before. I wonder if I'll see them again? Maybe if I do, I'll go get those Happy Meals. If they accept them gratefully, then I've done something to help. If they show disappointment because money is the only goal, then I will turn away for good. And pray that such awful parents make a change for the good of their children's lives.