Saturday, October 2, 2010

Another mall moan

I posted several months ago about my not-so-enjoyable visit to the mall after 5:00. Today I'm back with another gripe about our little suburban mall.

Pushy mall peddlers.

The ones who jump in front of you and try to file your nails, lotion your hands, sign your kid up for photos, upgrade your cell phone plan. Since when am I deprived of my peaceful mall experience? Why can't I walk quietly through the mall without getting accosted by someone who mastered "Overkill Sales 101"?

It's bad enough when I'm alone. But when I have a 2-1/2 year old in the stroller yelling "I want to go PLAY, Mommy! I'm hungry, Mommy!", WHY must these people stop my forward progress? One guy shoves me a flyer for mineral cosmetics. Asks me if he can put some on my eyelids. I glance at the cart...

then I wonder, do I, with my sneakers, plain khaki capris and a t-shirt from Target, look like the kind of girl who wants ultra shimmery hot pink & green eyeshadow? Can these people not see that I'm perfectly happy being a plain Jane? Never in a million years will I spend $40 for eyeshadow so bright and shiny it looks (and possibly is) radioactive.

I grab some soap samples from the new spa store - hey, samples are cool. But then, yet again, I am sucked in by an overzealous saleswoman. She wants to scrub my hands with some salt oil scrubby stuff. I'm a sucker for spa products, so I tell her I have 1 minute. Amelia: "Mommy, you said we're going to PLAY! I want to PLAY!" Really, one minute before this kid has every right to blow a gasket on me. Of course that one minute becomes three, and the pitch closes with her telling me the salt scrub is...

$75!!! Um, not a chance. I have a kid! I'm wearing clothes from Target, for goodness' sake. $75 can buy my child 4-5 fall outfits from Kohls. Or enough canned veggies and peanut butter to feed her for weeks. I absolutely do not need smooth hands that badly. I'm totally going to buy some $2 epsom salts, mix them with a drop or two of peppermint oil from the pantry, and do this myself at home.

I understand these people are doing their jobs. But maybe they should do some profiling before they jump in front of a moving stroller with a fidgety preschooler.

Next time I may just run over their toes.

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