Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Conflicted Mean Girl

Day #1 of my blogging break!

Welcome Andrea, recovering mean girl, mommy, dog owner, and bad driver.

Blog name? Confessions of a Conflicted Mean Girl
(click to visit... after you read the interview)

The writer behind the words? I am a wife, a mother, a writer, a dog owner, an employee, a friend (to a couple of people anyway), a bad driver, a reality TV addict, a master of passive-aggression, a perfectionist, oh, and I'm a mean girl. I don't try to be, but I'm afraid it's genetic. I didn’t even know I was mean until some time around high school when people started telling me I was one of those girls. And it turns out they were right. I think everyone has a mean streak, and I'm sure mine is overactive.

Last year I found out I was pregnant, less than two months after I got married. When I found out I was having a daughter I panicked. How is a mean girl supposed to raise a girl? I don't really want her to be mean, but I want her to be tough and discerning and independent and strong. These days I’d probably classify myself as stand-offish at worst and tolerant at best. I still have a supersized ego, and I'll probably never be the friendliest person in any room, but I do spend a good amount of time feeling sorry for people that I assume are sad or lonely. So I guess I'm making progress.

When (& why) did you start the blog?  I initially started my blog last summer on a complete whim. I didn't have much of a plan and lost steam after about 6 weeks. It sat untouched for almost exactly a year. Earlier this summer I was in my office pretending work and reading the blog of a friend of mine and it just occurred to me, hey, I have a baby, a husband, a job and two dogs, what ever will I do with my free time? So I decided to revive my blog.

Since you're a recovering mean girl, name something mean that you did (or happened to you) in school, that you hope never happens to your child. Oh, there is just so much. I think a lot about wanting to protect her from the things that happen, being excluded, getting teased, having your boyfriend stolen, being embarrassed… and I don’t want her to have to experience any of it, but I know she most likely will at one time or another. I just hope that she will never be a person who allows others to dictate how she feels about herself.

Name one thing that surprised you about parenthood. Everything! Truly, every single thing. I was surprised by my pregnancy and I continue to be surprised every day. I was shocked that we were allowed to take her home from the hospital. I was surprised by how much I love her. I was surprised by how much my feeling about our dogs changed. I'm surprised by how expensive she is. I'm surprised at how little sleep I really need. I'm surprised by how much I like hanging with a person who can't talk. I'm surprised by how much I worry about her. I'm surprised by how often I discuss poop. I'm surprised by how much my relationship changed with my husband. I'm surprised by how much I care about her clothes and how little I care about mine - usually. I'm surprised by how much crap she needs. I'm surprised by how little I know even though I read every book I could find.

What does "balance" mean to you? Balance to me is the ultimate goal – and for me, something that is a million miles away. I work in the mornings and am home with my daughter in the afternoons. This, of course means that I’m behind at work and behind at home. I try to write at night after the baby goes to bed (or when I’m at work shhh) Sometimes I cook dinner. Every now and then my husband gets a little attention from me. I always have bloodshot eyes, and it’s not because I had a great weekend. So balance? It’s on the to-do list, but I’m not sure I’ll ever check it off.

If you had two hours of pure "me" time, what would you do? Well if I had 3 hours, I would so go to a Bikram Yoga class. I miss them desperately. Before I was pregnant I’d go 5 times a week. Now it takes too much of a chunk of time (3 full hours from the time I leave to the time I get home) to work with our schedule…
So, since in this scenario I only have 2 hours, I would take a 30 minute shower, drink a crown and coke, and dive head first into my bed for a 90 minute nap.

@ConflictedMeany on Twitter
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...